Johann
12-31-2013, 08:18 AM
Bollywood's newest blockbuster franchise is Dhoom, and I saw the third installment this week.
I sat in front of a Bangladeshi family and behind people from Karachi, Pakistan.
The only white people there were a couple on my right.
It is a complete ripoff of THE DARK KNIGHT trilogy- right down to the chases and street scenes shot in downtown Chicago.
James Bond has been pilfered too. And Transformers. A Hindi friend told me that Dhoum is a series made for the Pakistani market.
The "story", if you can call it that, is about a father losing his circus business to ruthless bankers, and his son grows up to exact revenge on the bankers who shut down his fathers' circus. But this is so disjointed and has such horrific acting and mindless, out-of-place musical numbers that the only way you could like this movie is if you've never seen a movie in your life.
The most disturbing and profoundly shocking thing about this film is a musical number that I swear is based on Kubrick's EYES WIDE SHUT.
"Based" is not accurate.
It is actually an insult to Kubrick. The bank robber ("THE CLOWN THIEF" Sahir, played by Aamir Khan) has a "calling card" of etching a message in the walls of the banks he robs, as well as a "mirror" with a clown face in the middle of it, the mirror resembles the mirror on the poster of Kubrick's EYES WIDE SHUT.
The musical number I'm talking about (there are several in this movie, and they have nothing to do with the story) has people in cloaks, and a GIANT Star of David lit up like a Christmas tree dead-center stage. You watch it and try to understand what the filmmakers are saying to us.
The main character also wears a bowler hat just like Alex in a Clockwork Orange.
The Leading Lady (Katrina Kaif) is a Goddess. Drop-dead gorgeous, and she doesn't belong in this film. She's a star and she can dance better than Beyonce.
The editing and soundtrack (when there are no musical numbers) is lifted wholesale from THE DARK KNIGHT trilogy.
The film has cheesy lines like "Get me a SWAT team and a helicopter by sunrise!"
Horrifying acting here, with a very repellant lead character (Aamir Khan), who plays the roles of twin brothers- a "surprise" twist to the story.
It was 3 freaking hours long with an intermission, and I could've left after the first act. I stayed and was horrified to witness the Illuminati EYES WIDE SHUT musical number.
My jaw dropped, actually.
This film has broken box-office records in Pakistan. It is HUGE.
But it is a slick wholesale ripoff of many other movies. How they do not get sued up the ass is beyond me.
Historically, it is also the first Bollywood film to be shot with IMAX cameras.
I sat in front of a Bangladeshi family and behind people from Karachi, Pakistan.
The only white people there were a couple on my right.
It is a complete ripoff of THE DARK KNIGHT trilogy- right down to the chases and street scenes shot in downtown Chicago.
James Bond has been pilfered too. And Transformers. A Hindi friend told me that Dhoum is a series made for the Pakistani market.
The "story", if you can call it that, is about a father losing his circus business to ruthless bankers, and his son grows up to exact revenge on the bankers who shut down his fathers' circus. But this is so disjointed and has such horrific acting and mindless, out-of-place musical numbers that the only way you could like this movie is if you've never seen a movie in your life.
The most disturbing and profoundly shocking thing about this film is a musical number that I swear is based on Kubrick's EYES WIDE SHUT.
"Based" is not accurate.
It is actually an insult to Kubrick. The bank robber ("THE CLOWN THIEF" Sahir, played by Aamir Khan) has a "calling card" of etching a message in the walls of the banks he robs, as well as a "mirror" with a clown face in the middle of it, the mirror resembles the mirror on the poster of Kubrick's EYES WIDE SHUT.
The musical number I'm talking about (there are several in this movie, and they have nothing to do with the story) has people in cloaks, and a GIANT Star of David lit up like a Christmas tree dead-center stage. You watch it and try to understand what the filmmakers are saying to us.
The main character also wears a bowler hat just like Alex in a Clockwork Orange.
The Leading Lady (Katrina Kaif) is a Goddess. Drop-dead gorgeous, and she doesn't belong in this film. She's a star and she can dance better than Beyonce.
The editing and soundtrack (when there are no musical numbers) is lifted wholesale from THE DARK KNIGHT trilogy.
The film has cheesy lines like "Get me a SWAT team and a helicopter by sunrise!"
Horrifying acting here, with a very repellant lead character (Aamir Khan), who plays the roles of twin brothers- a "surprise" twist to the story.
It was 3 freaking hours long with an intermission, and I could've left after the first act. I stayed and was horrified to witness the Illuminati EYES WIDE SHUT musical number.
My jaw dropped, actually.
This film has broken box-office records in Pakistan. It is HUGE.
But it is a slick wholesale ripoff of many other movies. How they do not get sued up the ass is beyond me.
Historically, it is also the first Bollywood film to be shot with IMAX cameras.