The O'Reilly Rant (MARK 2)

[Johann]

I did some house cleaning of my profile and deleted my first Bill O'Reilly Rant. (That was just a warm up).

I'll be crafting a new *lengthy* one tomorrow.
He's my favorite to aim my hatred at.
I just saw the appearance on Letterman he did on March 31st and I'm inspired.
I'm inspired to "comment" on his reputation, a reputation that he says is unfairly always under attack.
Oh Bill, you love to dish it but you can't take it...
He is so on the defensive with Dave it's retarded.
This man calls himself a journalist (!), and the look on his face when Dave asked him where his journal was...wow.

He just does not operate on the same planet as everybody else.
I'm gonna enjoy this new rant.
I'm gonna ENJOY it.

[Johann]

Letterman is a boring guy who doesn't bring much to the party, but he's good for one thing: taking the piss out of Bill O'Reilly.
He throws it right out there: Bill is a "GOON", Bill is a "BONEHEAD".
That alone would get me out of my freezing seat clapping at the Ed Sullivan Theatre.
If I ever went to his show, which I probably wouldn't- I read a newspaper article about what retarded chickenshit you have to go through to be in his audience: you are required to LAUGH HARD so Dave gets in a good mood- sorry Dave I laugh at funny shit, not shit just so you can have a happy show. Who're you doing the show for? You or the audience? I don't like that Hitler style you have. You make the big bucks, but you eat and shit like the rest of us Pal...

But here's a compliment for you:
That suit that Bill Cosby gave you (grey tweed with blue tie) is probably the best tailored suit I have ever seen in my life. No joke. You wore it like a KING that night, and you should have. I don't get worked up about suits or fashion in any capacity, but yeah that suit was a suit for a GIANT. I actually said out loud: That suit is insane- the cut, the colors, the look. Just sheer perfection.

Enough.
On to Bill-O...

[Johann]

Dildo O'Reilly (sp?- who cares)

This man who went to Harvard University seems to have abandoned academics by his words and actions.

The most intelligent, dead-bang on Letterman show I have ever seen was March 31st. Wow what a riveting bit of TV.
Letterman has always been a strange comedian to me.
Nothing special, but he does have a certain...I don't know what.
That night he revealed a lot more about himself than he has in decades. And it was great.

Bill O'Reilly, a number 1 rated Entertainer- quit fooling yourself Bill-you say you're a journalist because you have a piece of paper on your wall? A journalist's first obligation is to the truth.
You don't seem to know that basic bit of information.
Now I'm getting into Jon Stewart territory here, I know it, but his form of comedy is far far superior to Bill's "journalism". And that's what burns people like O'Reilly up: the fact that there are conscious people out there who are not only ready to call bullshit on things that seem obvious to point out, but are also gonna do it in a way that proves you are oblivious to the 11th Commandment:
Thou shalt not be such a shit that you don't know you are one

He doesn't like Cheney anymore? Aw, let's weep for Dildo.
He thinks Bush is going to be a lower-teir President in history's eyes? Quit flip-flopping Bill! It doesn't become you. You are a man of the highest journalistic integrity! You were on your knees for Bush for a long long time and now you say he was negligent.
Wow.

The Left usually gets pounded in a grotesque manner by the Right when some mouthpiece flip flops in plain public view.
Well I won't relent on Bill O'Reilly.
This man makes TEN MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR.
For harming my good nature.
For insulting my intelligence.
For being such a shit that he has no fucking clue he is one.


Stop me...I'm out of control, NATION.

Time to put on some Neil Young...

[Johann]

Has anybody here seen that clip of O'Reilly demanding to see Obama at that rally? Where he's shouting at Obama's security guys? "SENATOR! We CAME ALL THE WAY TO SEE YOU!!!!STOP BLOCKING THE SHOT!!!!"

And you MUST see that "interview" he did with Obama before the election. Obama squared him away but good. Oh Lord, if he could only see himself as others see him...

Hey Fuckhead!

(I ain't Irish, but cursing is in my fucking blood too. Talking loud? Only every now and then)

How can you be so fucking oblivious to how you look to the outside world?
Here's some words to describe your "journalism":

Blowhard.
Arrogant.
Pushy.
Ignorant.
Appalling.
Offensive.
Defensive.
Ill-informed.
Batshit crazy.
Grotesque.
Monstrously unpleasant.
Charmless.
A JOKE.
Sad.
Unprofessional.

These words are coming from me, just a talking head on a computer, not paid a single dime- I give you my well-deserved hate FREE! No charge to the taxpayer- no one is profiting from my "media".

[Johann]

Can I do some further analysis of Bill O'Reilly's very acute, disturbed psyche?

Yes I can!

I've watched those two-part clips of O'Reilly on Letterman many times now and it just absolutely stuns me that he's done a complete 180 degree turn on Iraq. Admitting fully that it was a "tactical mistake", that it was wrong to go there.

This was a guy who had fire in his belly for people who were anti-war when the Iraq war was going full steam ahead.
I'm banging the gavel here, banging the gong on his massive flip-flop on Iraq. It sickens me so much that he smugly changes his tune on Iraq, talking about his new outlook on the war like a feather floating softly to the ground saying "I've said it on the show many times"- you know what else you said on the fucking show many times?
That people who were against the war were Bad Americans, that they were destroying America, that they were fucking traitors for not supporting the President without question, absolutely revolting logic at the time, and history has shown your ignorance and arrogance in full technicolor. You think you can just effortlessly change your tune without a full-scale apology to every single person on the planet for being such a wrong-headed douchebag? You don't know jack shit Bill.

You're not informed properly by those who work for you.
Your instincts on what is truthful and truly important do not exist.
You come from a hollow-headed ideology that disregards so much in the way of common sense and rationalising that it boggles the brain.
You're the number 1 show because you're the number one fuck up!
You're the number one train wreck!
People are horrified, but they can't stop looking.
What will the bat-shit crazy Bill O'Reilly say next?
What chunky manure will flow from his spin-zoney lips?

[Johann]

No Bill.

I don't lump you in with Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.
Your stench is a little more aromatic than theirs.
Limbaugh's just a pill-popper who'll have a heart attack at his console. You can telegraph that one from fucking Jupiter.
Glenn Beck is just silly.

No Bill.
I lump you in with Toby Kieth. You and him can have a big 'ol Ignorant Right Wing hoe-down, eat some grits and talk about "ragheads" all night long for all I fucking care. You can clank your oversized bottles of Colt 45 and remember the good old days, when Nixon was King and Bush was just the babe in the manger...

Also, if you make ten million a year, you should be able to get a good surgeon to remove that incredible turkey jowl..


Gobble Gobble!
You're in the Johann zone!

[Johann]

Letterman asked him what percentage of the stuff he says he makes up.
Bill replied "None".

Can you believe that? He's so ready to lie it's terrifying!
You've never made anything up on the air?
Never pulled bogus "facts" from wistful clouds in the sky?
Wow.
Just Wow.

That admission right there, on National Televison, to millions of viewers, is ironclad proof of O'Reilly's ignorance and contempt for his audience. He thinks he's superior to everybody in the cosmos.

Chavez appears to be a tyrant, but he's actually a former soldier who cares deeply about Latin America. He's a patriot for his home country of Venezuela. I tell you one thing: I have the feeling that he wouldn't have hesitated to take a bullet for you if you were in his platoon, and Real Soldiers do that.
If you're down with him, he would lift you up.
People looking in on Chavez from the outside don't see the appeal of that. I was a former soldier (as I've said a few times before- that shit never ever leaves you) and I have a natural ear for military types. I'll judge you by what you say and do. And Hugo Chavez has impressed me greatly.
He's a man's man.
He'll call a spade a spade, as he sees it, right to your face, and he's righteous about it. He's not Lording over anybody- he demands and gets respect. Anybody who doesn't reciprocate is treated like a piece of shit, as they should be.
Why can't people take the tram view of Chavez?
He just wants the absolute best for his people.
And nobody can say that's not noble.

[Johann]

We should all give President Bush a break?
Let history unfold?
You should speak with your MOUTH, Bill.
Not your asshole.

The verdict on Bush has been in since he stole the election in 2000. The fact that you can't see that or acknowledge that (and you went to Harvard? My Goodness Gracious) is further ironclad proof of your IQ score of 62

How about letting history unfold for Obama?
You and your sick miscreant pals are unrelenting on Obama.
He hasn't been President 5 months and already you're saying his Presidency is in the dumper. That's just sheer comedy to me.
I'm bringing a wrecking ball to your logic fuckhead!

And the threadbare shit they pick apart about President Obama...
Man.
I'm so happy Obama's intelligence is through the roof and that he can cut these jokers down to size with one sharp line, one dagger-like Presidential dressing down. His compass is right on target, and I and many many people want to give him all the time and space he needs to fix the horrific gong-show shit that Bush and Cheney and all their crackerjack clubhouse clowns shittily layed on the world as a "legacy"

[Johann]

check out this brilliant and hilarious video of Dildo in action (with his floor manager- (!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QwGj3c5gsQ&feature=related

[Johann]

On May 5th O'Reilly had a "body language expert" blonde bimbo on his show to discuss Obama's body language during a science speech where he gets angry (but keeps his head on) when the teleprompter malfunctions.

Now Bill, I bring this up because I just HAVE to point out how lame you look every time you nitpick on Obama.

A professional journalist *snicker* would never *snicker* give two craps about whether or not Obama was angry or not in that situation. It's not news in the slightest. Yet Bill-O seems to think his whole show hinges on this incredibly insignificant bit of "technical difficulties".
Could it be because Bill has seen his own teleprompter meltdown become a legendary piece of youtube hilarity that will haunt him for the rest of his weasely life that he must keep swinging his kitty paws at the invincible army that hates his guts with a passion?

Give up, Bill.
You were defeated years and years ago, you Culture Douchebag.
Culturre Warrior?!?!?!? You gave your book that title?! ha ha
Jesus what a moron he is..

Like Bill Maher said Bill:
America has found someone else to love.
And he happens to be black. And a Democrat.
And America ain't going back.
Bush and Cheney are dead and so are you.
Deal with it.
Before you really lose your mind...

[Johann]

Here's something for the warped and perverted reich-wingers and conservative freaks who think Bush wasn't all that bad.
Don't you know you can't conserve anything?
Not love.
Not energy.
Not power.
Not anything.


Mr. Jack Cafferty is right on the money.
The smartest man on CNN.
Don't ever forget what happened in New Orleans.
Bush surrendered the city to a natural disaster.
It still shocks me when I think about it.


http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/05/19/cafferty.bush.administration/index.html

[Johann]

O'Reilly and Dennis Miller.

Wow has Dennis Miller become a repulsive goof.
You'd think after being so fucking wrong on Iraq that he'd crawl under a rock, never to appear again. But I guess he likes the sound of his own voice, and laughing at his own non-funny jokes.

On June 3rd's Factor, O'Reilly and Dennis just whoop it up like two corn-pone faux-gangster wannabes who find shit funny that only aliens from gamma quadrant 842 would laugh at.

They have a giggle-fest for what seems like an eternity over what? I can't even remember and I just watched it.

Miller has got to lay off the string-a-thousand- words together for no-joke effect. He thinks he's being so intelligent but I cut right through that crap. He's always trying to ride the next line like a jockey. But he only ever comes off as "Jerky"- dry, tough to chew, with a smoked flavour.

These guys act like they are gooned on the laughing gas.
It's hilarious because they're the only ones laughing.
I mean, you watch it.
Are you laughing with these two?
Yes?
Explain how and why please.
Then after they tickle each others' funny bones until they pee themselves, Bill segues into a dead-serious matter: a pharmacist who shot and killed some thug kid who tried to rob the place.
I mean, you go from silly, retarded laughing to this?

I'm done writing about Bill O'Reilly.
My time ain't worth this.

[Johann]

O'Reilly for kids?
You have got to be kidding me!
Holy Mary Mother of God protect your children!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv10ow6rLmU&feature=related